she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
sex in a hospital.. check
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
