think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
