am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry about my life...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
