you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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