I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
