I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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