fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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