What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
