Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
