i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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