He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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