It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize