I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
