Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I skipped work to stalk him.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
