we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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