So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
