Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
