Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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