MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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