Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
