Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize