just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
