This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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