dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
