I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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