I wanna passion pit in your ass
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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