How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hippo gnu deer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Randomize
