its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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