dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
