hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
