he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
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I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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