i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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