Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
