All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
