I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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