Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
