I hate your face
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
