All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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