I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
