you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
