Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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