its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
