Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
