everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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