You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
