I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
