Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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