I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
