just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize