i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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