We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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