Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
