As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
