We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize