I wish I could teleport
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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