so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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