It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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