so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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