Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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