My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
false alarm. still invincible.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
