You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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