make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
